Easter Ham Hash

So you bought a giant ham out of fear your guests were going to swarm it like locusts of biblical proportions...and now, you have more leftovers than you know what to do with.  

Fear not.  I have a plan.  And it just happens to be a pretty damn good one, too. 

See?  I would never lead you astray. Get your party pants on (aka your least restrictive pants you own).

Here are our ingredients: 

3 Cups Yukon Gold Potatoes, Chopped

2 Cups Diced Ham

1/4 Cup Diced Onions

1 Garlic Clove, Chopped 

1 Stick of Butter, Separated

Green Onions for Garnish

5 Eggs, Separated 

1-2 Tbs of Fresh Lemon Juice

Salt & Pepper

1 Tbs White Vinegar

You want to cook, cool, and cut the potatoes.  If you try to cook them raw on the griddle, they'll never  cook right.  Trust me...I've tried.  I love Yukon gold potatoes.  They are flavorful and creamy and just the best.  I had some extra left over from the potato salad I will post on Thursday, so this worked out great.  

Melt the butter on a large pan or griddle and saute the garlic and onion until it begins to soften. 

Once the onion cooks down a bit, add the potatoes, ham, and green onions. 

 

You want the potatoes crispy crispy CRISPAYYYY.  Spread them out evenly on the pan and let them sit for a couple of minutes.  This will allow them to form a nice, crispy crust.  If you keeping messing them and turning them around they'll never get crispy.  Soggy potatoes make me sad. :(

 

So, you can eat it like this...

...but I'm not done yet.  Oh no. 

I used to be terrified of poaching eggs.  Mostly because I don't like to do my research before I try something new, and the first couple of times I would put the egg into an aggressively boiling pot - damaging the delicate egg.  Instead, get a pot of water very hot, but not boiling.  Splash in a little vinegar and then create a whirlpool by stirring the water around and around with a spatula.  Crack the egg into a small dish and then drop it into the middle of the swirling water.  Let it cook for 2-3 minutes.  If you are cooking a bunch at a time, don't do the whirl pool.  You can check if it's done by picking it up out of the water with a slotted spoon and gently poking the egg with your finger.  If it's super jiggly, let it cook for another minute or so.  If it's firm - you over cooked it.  You want something in between. 

Now...onto the hollandaise.  Whisk 3 yolks as hard as you can until they become frothy.  Since I was just making this for my husband and I, I cut the recipe in half. 

Place the yolks over a double boiler and keep whisking until they begin to thicken.  Make sure you keep it moving - if you stop the eggs will scramble. 

Sloooowwwlllly pour in half a stick of melted butter, continually whisking as you go.  Squeeze in a little lemon juice (about 1 tablespoon) and a couple of pinches of salt.  As soon as it comes together and is the right saucy consistency, pull it off the heat. 

 

Place the poached egg in the middle of the hash and drizzle the most amazing sauce ever on top...

Yes.  This tasted as good as it looks.  Maybe even better. 

Creamy, crispy...indulgent.  I just loved this and was so overly impressed with myself.  I believe egg yolks are up there on my list of God's most thoughtful gifts to humankind. 

I had to break a lot of eggs before I mastered how to do a poached egg correctly, but once you get the hang of it - it's super easy and comes out delicious every time.  The whites are perfectly firm and the yolks are runny. 

Yeah...this happened. 

I had a hard time shoveling this into my mouth because I was too busy patting myself on the back and high fiving myself with my feet. 

 

Stay hungry! 

The Gage Chicago, IL

I've been doing a lot of networking over lunch these days and lucky for me the delicious food in Chicago rarely disappoints. I ordered the seared scallop salad at The Gage. Incredible. The scallops were perfectly seasoned and perfectly cooked. The crunchy pickled onions add texture and brightened up the rich protein. Stay hungry!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Hip, on the House: Double Bravo

This giveaway is now closed!  The winner is...

Lucky number 7!  Sarah, you are the winner!  


Happy Friday!  We are excited to be working with a stationer who hails from Chicago, lives in Brooklyn, & loves letterpress as much as we do.  The best of all worlds, right?  Barbara has offered a $15 gift certificate to Double Bravo Designs and we're glad to be sharing it with one of you!

Barbara from Double Bravo Designs has a clever line of paper products including city-specific "Year We Said 'I Do'" and "Year You Were Born" cards that I think are perfect little wedding or baby gifts...

The Los Angeles "I do" one includes spots for the bride & groom to fill in their favorite food truck, their last movie seen before getting married, & cost of a gallon of gas...

As somebody who was born & raised in Park Slope, this one obviously speaks to me.  I don't know what the hottest ticket on Broadway was in 1983, but it's Book of Mormon for sure now.  And what New Yorker doesn't know a new parent in Park Slope?  I think this would be the sweetest baby shower gift.

In addition to the year celebration cards, Barbara also does custom work, such as this change of address card.  Awesome, right?

Also, Barbara has a few notecards in her shop, including these adorable Softee Ice Cream "Fill in the Blank" cards.  Perfect for thank-yous for a kid's birthday (or maybe sent in a summer camp care package)...

The winner of this giveaway can use their $15 gift certificate as they choose... two "Year You Were Born" cards (if you have a lot of baby showers), towards getting some custom stationery done, or for her premade notecards.  I'm so jealous!

Here are the 4 ways to win...


1) First, go look through Double Bravo Designs Etsy Shop or Double Bravo Designs Website and leave a comment below with your favorite item from her shop... 

2) If you want another chance to win, be sure to "like" Hardly Housewives on Facebook here and leave another comment letting us know that you did (or if you already have)

3) Join the Hardly Housewives follower community - publicly follow Hardly Housewives via Google Friend Connect

4)... and for a last chance, add Double Bravo Designs to your "Favorites" on Etsy

This giveaway ends NEXT FRIDAY morning!  Come back to see if you've won.  

Good luck and stay hip!

Fat Basset

It's a good thing Fred can't read English because this post would totally destroy his body image. But sadly, our little hound is a total fatty. After taking him for a checkup a few weeks ago, the (horrified) vet announced that he needed to lose 13 lbs, and fast. Old Fredster was up to 73 pounds and for the sake of his back, we need to whittle him down to 60 pretty quickly.

(I know this photo is unfair.  Like "Stars without Makeup" unfair.  But it gets the point across.)

So here's a quick how-to on helping your dog lose weight (it could also work if YOU wanted to lose weight. Spoiler alert - eat more vegetables and less dog food). Obviously, all dogs are different so talk to your vet before making any changes.

Fred's vet suggested we immediately cut his intake in half which meant we were cutting him down to half a cup of food in the morning and half a cup at night. When first presented with these meager rations, Fred was pissed. He stared down at his food and up at us. He walked away, came back & ate it, and then made it clear to us he was hungry about four minutes later.

So we've supplemented his half-rations with a cup of green beans (& the occasional sweet potato), a suggestion from our friends over at LoveHandlers Animal Sanctuary. It still gives him enough bulk that he thinks he's eating his normal meal but with less calories & extra nutrients (sneaky humans).  When he first turned up his nose at a half-green bean/half-kibble breakfast ("But Fred," I said, "they're organic!"), we then introduced it slowly, adding a few more green beans with each feeding.

Yummy.

Because Fred also has Lyme Disease (!!!) AND arthritis, he can only go for 10 minute walks at a time which means we're relying on diet alone for his weight loss. Here he is after a week and a half of reduced kibble & green beans (at a much more flattering angle than the picture above):

We haven't taken him back to the vet for an official weigh-in yet but I'm hoping he's lost a few lbs. Stay hungry, Fred!

"Angeled" Eggs

In my household growing up, we didn't call them Deviled Eggs, we called the Angeled Eggs.  My parents like to call things by a different name and not tell me what the real, actual world wide term is.  You can imagine some of the embarrassing situations I've been in.  I LITERALLY thought garbanzo beans were called "chi chi beans" until a waiter at Houlihan's informed my 15 year old self that was not the case.  My mother thought it was hilarious.  I wanted to die. 

 

However, this one actually makes sense to me.  My mother had a fundamental issue with the word "devil" being said so much around Easter.  Who is making the deviled eggs?  We should make extra deviled eggs.  Can I have a deviled egg?  Where did all the deviled eggs go?  Did Jaisa eat all the deviled eggs?  Jaisa you should make more deviled eggs.  

You get the point. 

There has been a resurgence of deviled eggs in Chicago lately.  Retro is back baby.  I love seeing different twists and takes on the worlds most versatile ingredient:  eggs.  I didn't take a pic of the ingredients because I sort of forgot, but that's ok.  We can use our imagination.  

6 Eggs

3 Heaping Tablespoons of Mayonnaise

1 Teaspoon of Mustard 

3 Baby Pickles, Sliced

3 Slices of Bacon, chopped and cooked crispy

Salt & Pepper

Chives (optional garnish)

Paprika (optional garnish)

So my friends, I am going to teach you how to make the perfect hard boiled egg.  This is what you do:  

Add your eggs to a small sauce pan and add cold water to the pan. Don't jam the eggs in there or they will crack.  The water should cover the eggs completely, with a little extra so the eggs aren't bobbing at the top.  Heat the pan over high heat uncovered until the water comes to a rapid boil.  As soon as the rapid boil begins, cover the eggs, shut off the heat (leave the pan on the hot burner) and set a timer for 17 minutes.  As soon as your timer goes off, drain the water into the sink and pour cold water over the eggs to stop the cooking process.  I gently bang the shell against the sink and peel the shell off under cool running water to help lift the shell up. AND THIS IS WHAT YOU'LL GET.  Yay. 

Use a super sharp, non serrated knife and cut down the middle, cleaning the blade with a paper towel or dish rag in between eggs.  You don't want yolk getting all over the other whites.   

Gently remove the yolks and throw them in a bowl. 

Break up the yolks as much as possible and then add the mayonnaise, mustard, salt and pep. I like using a whisk because I use it first to break up the yolks and then I like to gently whip everything together so it's nice and smooth. 

Try this delicious mixture.  What does it need?  More salt?  More pepper?  More mustard?  Now is the time to check.  It should be nice and creamy and smooth.  If it tastes dry, add a bit more mayo. 

Don't mind my little claw here.  I don't have pastry bags so I just use a plastic bag to pipe the filling.  Just fill her up, and snip off the end and pipe away. 

You could mow them like this, or....

Make it all fancy.  Isn't this beautiful?  I dusted the eggs with paprika (a very traditional garnish to this dish) and then added two small chive sprigs.  

Charlie's Grandma Marge makes THE best deviled eggs.  She tops them with mini pickle slices. 

I'm a lunatic so I also add bacon. 

 

Doesn't this look tasty and special and worthy of a holiday meal?  I would serve this to Jesus himself. 

 

Sometimes when I'm alone, I eat these with truffle salt and Sriracha cause I'm all crazy like that.  Do you have any fun twists?  Stay hungry! 

Make Your Own Laundry Soap

You probably know that most popular laundry detergents are made with derivatives of petroleum and all sorts of other chemicals.  While the smell of Tide is synonymous with fresh, clean laundry in my brain, I knew I wanted to switch to something more natural.

I started with Seventh Generation laundry detergent but I was moving through the bottles very quickly, and they weren't cheap.  I switched to Seventh Generation laundry powder but after some use was wondering if there was an easy way to make laundry soap myself.  A quick Google search came up with a ton of options, all containing the same ingredients - Borax, soap, & washing soda.

I found everything I needed on Amazon...

You can obviously make as much or as little as you want, but I decided to start small to make sure I liked how it cleaned our clothes.  I started by shaving the castille soap (I used lavender scented Dr. Bronner's)...

...until I had 2 cups.  Just under one bar.  Jesse thought it was cheese.  Luckily he has some self control and didn't reach for a handful like I would have.

Then I added 1 cup of Borax and 1 cup of washing soda...

...and mixed everything together.

I use 2 1/2 tablespoons of the powder per load.  I let the soap and clothes soak in hot water in the washer for 10 minutes before washing (I did this with store-bought detergent anyway) to help melt the soap.

I LOVE how it cleans!  The lavender scented soap doesn't make that much of a difference smell-wise (after the laundry is done... it smells amazing before it's used) so I may go with Fels Naphtha or Zote (two brands usually used for making homemade laundry detergent) next time I make this.

Stay clean, stay green, & stay homey!

The Best Easter Ham You Have Ever Had. Ever.

This is the first time I have ever stayed away from my typical spiraled Easter ham.  Listen and listen closely:  NEVER BUY SPIRALED HAM AGAIN. 

I read recently that spiraled ham is not the way to go because it dries out easily.  And you know what? It does.  I hadn't really thought about it.  Now that I've tried the ham whole - I ain't going back baby. 

Another part of spiraled ham I'm not a huge fan of?  The prepackaged glaze.  So, I decide to make my own.  Also, I should mention that the ham I got didn't come with glaze.  

1 Whole Hickory Smoked Ham

3 Tbs of Honey

1/3 Cup of Brown Sugar

1 Stick of Unsalted Butter

 

This is our ham.  Get excited peeps. 

 

Either leave the butter out on the counter until it's softened, or nuke it for 15 seconds like me.  Doesn't really matter.  You just want it soft so it can spread.

When I was in Michigan for my pal Lauren's wedding shower, I got to try some of her uncle's honey. This is seriously the best honey I have ever had in my life.  Luckily, he sent me home with some.  Or I stole it.  I haven't totally worked that detail out yet. 

Throw the sugar and the honey in the butter.  

 

If you use unsalted butter like me, add a couple pinches of sea or kosher salt.  I can't really tell you how good this is.  I "accidentally" dropped some in my mouth a couple of times and it was ridiculous.  I'm going to make some more so I can spread it on toast everything. 

Get your ham ready for take off.  I recommend using a roasting pan so you can let the juices collect at the bottom.  That way, you have some loveliness to dip the ham in.  

 

Spread the ham with the butter mixture.  Don't my nails look pretty?  I painted them just for youuuu. 

 

I forgot to photograph this, but I added about a cup of water to the bottom to help with the moisture and the eventual sauce. 

Wrap the pork football with some foil.  This will keep the moisture in. 

 

 Look.  At.  That.  I kid you not, I could drink that sauce on the bottom with a spoon made out of manure. 

 

My husband is the meat cutter/butcher of the family, so I'm sure there was a better way of cutting this but I didn't give a damn.  I had to eat it immediately.  No time for thinking.  I'm shocked I didn't saw my hand off. 

 

Beautiful, right?  This was SO incredibly moist and flavorful. 

 

After slicing the ham, I strained the au jus (not necessary, but I thought it would look better) and placed the slices of ham right back into the bottom of the roasting pan.  OH MAN. 

 

 The au jus was delicious.  It was buttery, with the perfect hint of sweetness.  I can't get enough.  Wait until I show you what to do with the left overs!  Ohhhhhhh man.  Stay hungry!